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lyrics
I was runnin' down Main
I was runnin' late again
when I ran into a dear old friend
he had a crooked smile
and his hair was on fire
even though the rain would not end
he said, "how you been?"
I said, "John, you're on fire!"
he said, "Yeah, you get used to it.
For what it's worth
the shit doesn't hurt
and I think the chicks really dig it."
hadn't seen him in years
he always was pretty weird
I was runnin' down a dream
in a beat up old truck
when I heard a young damsel scream
I pulled to the shoulder
and I tried to hold her
but her body was peaches and cream
as soon as I touched her
I knew that I loved her
but she cried, "Misogyny!
I don't need your affection
I seek medical attention.
I think somethings really wrong with me!"
I know how to fix it
just show me where to kiss it
I was runnin' from the cops
robbing mom and pop shops
when I saw the piano drop
from at least three stories
it fell in a glory
playing "Chopsticks" nonstop
but under the shadow
of that great piano
was a mime stuck in a box
I yelled, "Watch out!"
and he took some stairs
I didn't know were there
and disappeared
I saved his life I guess
that's what I told the press
I know it's crazy but you gotta believe me
I'm not the type to tell a story
I was runnin' 'round the lake
just trying to get in shape
cuttin' through the fog with my legs
when it occured to me
that I should seriously
finally write my screenplay
I got all these ideas
man, my minds like a wheel
plus I've been told I'm really funny
but then I got distracted
thinkin' 'bout acting
someone alert central casting!
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